Yes, I Play Pokemon GO

Last week Pokemon GO, an app theoretically for kids, was released and it has already made its way to the #1 download in the iTunes app store. I watched Facebook for a couple of days, seeing people post about what they found, what they were doing with the app, and I thought, “Huh, Silas might like that.” So I read up on it, and downloaded it for my personal phone.

Don't hate.

The night I got it, I told Silas after his bath, “Hey, get some clothes and shoes on real quick, we’re going for a walk.” Mike looked at me (as he was bathing Sage) like I was high. “You’re going for a walk now?” “I downloaded the Pokemon thingy. We’re going to hunt Pokemon.”

*Eye roll from Mike.*

I’m sorry “Mr. I Still Play Candy Crush and hog my wife’s iPod to do so,” do you have a problem with that?

My kids are learning about technology – we have Leap Pads that they use maybe weekly, Silas knows how to navigate his profile on Netflix, and Sage and YouTube for kids are best buds (and sometimes I wish I could delete some of these toy vloggers’ accounts). But it’s all “alone” stuff. I figured this was something Silas and I could do together (and maybe we could learn more about Pokemon which he has been interested in).

A lot of people have messaged me about the downsides of this game – people walking in the middle of the road to catch a Pokemon (hullo? Have you read the load page?), people robbing users by bringing them to a certain spot by gathering a ton of Pokemon (this is why Silas and I either find them while I drive and he Poke-catches or while we walk around our neighborhood), Google account security issues (no worries, I used a burner account), so I was careful with setting up our account.

Once I read up on it, I showed him how to use it. We caught Pokemon, went to Poke Stops and I showed him how to gather stuff, and we’ve decided which team we want to join (Blue because that’s his favorite color ALTHOUGH he was tempted to Yellow when I mentioned Pikachu). He is desperate to catch a Pikachu. 

So let’s talk about the good and the bad.

Good:

• We’re working on “It’s ok that you missed that Pokemon because there will be another one.” Silas at first would get frustrated while I drove and he missed Pokemon because I was going “too fast,” but now he’s OK with it because he knows more will come.
• We walk our neighborhood every night “for a reason” instead of just, “Hey, let’s take a walk.” When I asked him to walk with me, he’d get frustrated and tired of it fast, but now he wants to keep walking to find Pokemon and to hatch that dang egg that needs us to walk 5k to hatch.
• We’re working on sharing and understanding that sometimes other people have skills we don’t. When we’re at home and a Pokemon shows up, I hand him the phone and tell him, “Hey, go catch this guy. You’re good at it.” But when he becomes frustrated after throwing 5 Pokeballs, he’ll ask me for help and we switch back and forth.

Bad:

• It hasn’t happened yet, but I can imagine him some day wanting to hold my phone all the time (if we keep playing). I don’t mind him holding it while I drive and he Catches, but I will be drawing the line at home (since I work on my phone and use it a lot).
• As you’ve probably read, the dang app is a BATTERY SUCKER. I bought a new car charger today (mine died a while ago but I didn’t need a new one).
• The app settings (as I talked about before) – be sure yours are locked down or you use a burner account as logging in with Google as the app asks you to do gives it access to your account (without actually asking you). There’s ways to change your settings if you’re so inclined – do a search and you’ll find them easily.
• Gas – I did drive around a bit today after dropping the boys at camp in order to scope out Poke Stops. I had some time, they showed up on my map when I dropped off Silas…but now I know where the local ones are and can stop in quick whenever we drive by if I want. ß Total dork statement.

So for all of the Pokemon Go haters out there, yes we play. Yes it’s fun because it’s something I get to do with my son and see his excitement when a Meowith shows up on our lawn.

Welcome to all of the Flamingos

You've heard the phrase "work/life balance" and probably felt badly about it. Because your "balance" was so out of "balance" and you thought, oh god, what am I doing wrong?

Liz rolls here eyes and shakes her head.

You're not. You're not doing anything wrong. Work/life balance is a lie. It's like...I don't know...being caught up on household chores. You think it can happen, you've heard other people do it...but it lasts for about 5 minutes and then, poof! In a puff of pink smoke, it's gone.

Here's us, trying to be balanced...

So we're chasing this idea of balance that is actually not attainable and feeling bad about it.

STOP THE MADNESS!

Most of us are balancing like the pile of dishes in your cabinet after your oldest child empties the dishwasher. Precariously. About to fall over and COULD make a big crash (and involve the purchase of paper plates instead of ceramic).

Work/life balance is more like work-lif-wor-LIFE-wo-li 

We are constantly switching back and forth, switching "hats," and sometimes, just sometimes, feeling badly that we're doing poorly in one of our roles (sometimes? let's talk about all the mommy guilt and the "mom wars" that go on between for example, working and stay-at-home moms).

So we feel as if we're constantly going, constantly trying to make something better, whatever that something of the minute is, but are you enjoying your something?

Let me make a suggestion - don't go for balance. Go for enjoyment. Enjoy what you are doing "in the now," make every effort to make what you're doing right this minute, whether it's playing Hot Wheels with your kid, working on their homework with them, working to get caught up on work stuff - enjoy it. It's here. It's now. Put the cell phone and computer away. Turn off your notifications. Don't let interruptions, well, interrupt being present with the things you're focusing on.

Be present.

You may realize that there are some things you just can't do. Because you can't do everything. You can't. So here's my strategy: figure out what you want to prioritize and focus on those things. Make a top 5. Those are your foci for now (and it will change of course, week to week sometimes). But then if something comes up that's not on your list, let it go.

If you're a parent, you probably get this reference.

This may sound crazy, because if you're like I was, you want to do everything well. After a stroke at age 30 and two heart attacks at 32, I made some clear decisions - I want to focus on what's important to me. It involved saying "no" to some things that I wanted to do but just couldn't. And it involved changing my focus sometimes. And "giving in" (not up) about others.

Some people would see that as settling. I call it looking out for your damned mental health.

So while you're trying to balance on one leg, look perfectly amazing in your Flamingo-ness, and be a super woman, stop yourself. Focus on Your Five. Let the rest go (at least for now - them dishes ain't gonna do themselves - but could you delegate them to someone else?).

What are Your Five things your focusing on right now? Comment below so other parents can see that they're not crazy.